Reflecting back on recent holidays and those close to follow. I had been tackling significant shifts in family traditions.
I come from a patriarchal background with dominant father figures leading our family rituals and traditions.
Don’t misunderstand, we ladies are responsible for much of the important “stuff” like food, decor, and ambiance.
But in my family men had been the conductors running the show, leading the orchestra.
My father having passed away 9 years ago created an abrupt and difficult shift in the dynamic of our family in and of itself.
At first, my uncle and brother-in-law took turns in sharing that responsibility.
This year, the brother-in-law moved away, the uncle couldn’t make it, and the girls had to step up to the plate.
Many of you readers may be thinking, “what’s the big deal”. But It’s scary when you think about it.
I needed to start a completely new tradition.
In my mind it felt like I was about to preform an aria for thousands of people. And the catch…. I didn’t know how to sing!
My Self was thinking that if tradition is changing it may destroy the dynamic of the holiday… and my family?!
This holiday had a lot riding on it.
My mother suggested just having a dinner. But that did not resonate with my heart.
I love the traditional parts of my life and religion, I love connecting to the generations of people who have sung those same songs and spoke those same words.
So, I took a deep breath and dove into what felt right, opening the dinner with old traditions and song.
As it turned out, I was giving birth to a new tradition that was filled with incredible love.
Not only did it feel right, it allowed me to open up my table and give other people around me the feeling of love and warmth. Those same feelings I felt as a child, sitting at the table with my father, came flooding back.
Tradition, religion, and spiritually are about love and heart and the gift of spreading them to the people around you.
Sharing a meal I have prepared, singing songs, and warm bodies at my table, have proven to be some of the most enlightening experiences of my life.
So I must give thanks to change! As difficult as you can be to accept, is as grateful as I am to embraced you.